Questions for men.

Again I lack the updates, but I have a job (but no life, hence I do update you lucky, lucky people) that is very draining and so often spend my “rest days” actually resting. But! It has given me an idea of a post later, stay tuned for “Tales from the Fruit Basket” a look at people with severe mental/emotional disorders that aren’t from a time-life movie or some political agenda.

Regardless! Twitter has had a hashtag for a while #Questionsformen, and as much as I hate people prefixing their statements with “As a man/woman/mother/father/gay/straight/hedgehog/hamburger,” because it somehow implies that by virtue of existing they are somehow an ambassador for an entire demographic, I figure I’ll answer as this man, I.e. Me!

Questions have been selected randomly:

When you have a disagreement with somebody, is it common to say that you are only angry because nobody will fuck you?

Yes? But it depends if they think that insult will have any emotional impact, people insult to cause emotional damage. So calling me a “fag” will have little effect, but it may have a serious effect on somebody less sexually secure. Likewise if somebody feels I am insecure that I’ll never be loved somebody may resort to the “loser, virgin, neckbeard.” Combo. Shitty insults know no gender.

A guy wants “room to breathe” what is your take on that?
It depends on the guy, some people use that as a prelude to a break-up to get you used to the idea of being without him. Other guys may feel like you’re emotionally/physically/mentally controlling and need some distance so they can make their own decisions for a while. Again, this is not a gendered thing, many a female may say the same for just as many reasons as a man would.

Have you ever been scared for your life because you turned down somebody?
Personally? No, not for my life. Though I was worried about my reputation, my property and my livelihood. I once broke up with a girl who was more than capable of attempting to hurt me by lying about me to our friends, my place of work, and the police if she felt inclined very convincingly. And when it’s my word against hers, people are much more likely to take her words, sadly (See previous post regarding “women are wonderful,”.)

Also, as a result of this I was also worried of violence by proxy, after all self-righteous indignation/vengeance is a heady feeling to those who have heard that a terrible man-orgee has hurt the crying damsel.

Does your fashion sense effect the work you do?

Yes. People need to dress for the job they have, regardless of gender, if I turned up to work dressed inappropriately I’d expect a reprimand. Also in my specific line of work, I risk personal injury if I don’t dress appropriately.

When in a leadership position are you ever concerned with being mocked or called a “bitch” for being authoritative.

It’s a concern, yes. A good leader “leads” they don’t “drive”. Pushing people with your authority will build resentment and insults (gendered or not), however setting an example and providing support and guidance builds loyalty and respect. Leadership skills are just that, “skills” you need to learn and practice it and not just assume people will respect you because you hold a higher position than them. Otherwise you run the risk of being perceived as a bully, a tyrant, or even the dreaded “bitch”.

Is it tiring carry that privilege around all day?

Oh wow, you’re so edgy, I wish I could earn your respect and be your friend. I bet you’re so cool and interesting, and have so many comrades who love to hear your “controversial” opinions.

Seriously though: “Privilege” is a fairly nebulous and flimsy concept, and also an inherently sexist and racist one, as it associates traits with biological gender and skin colour.
But assuming I entertain the narrative of privilege, I would answer “yes” simply because society grants you your privilege provided you fulfil societies expectations on what you should be. So provided as a man I present as stoic, capable, competent, and emotionally as well as physically strong, I’ll be granted the approval of society and enjoy my privilege. Likewise if I was female, provided I am emotionally open, dress attractively, show affection to children and endorse “the sisterhood” of female solidarity, I will enjoy the approval of society and the privileges that entails. Such expectations can be tiring, draining and very emotionally dangerous too.
However, as I said, this entire concept denies the individuality of all of us and reduces us to our race/gender/sexuality, something that is a very damaging to our perceptions of others.