“Would you like to be a Princess?”

This question came out the blue during a conversation about tropes and their role in both the media, and psychology. I think they were surprised when I answered “Hell yeah I would!”

But what would this mean for me, Psychological and Socially speaking?

Well for a start I’d be a girl, obviously a bit of a new experience for me. But being a girl gives me a massive social advantage. Combine this with the already huge social bonus of being royalty, and young (presumably attractive, or so wealthy I can buy attractiveness) in addition means I’m essentially holding all the social trump cards.

And this is how it works:

The Pretty.
We’ll start with The Halo Effect, essentially it’s a subconscious desire to attribute positive qualities to attractive people. For example an ugly person who works overtime is a “kiss-ass,” or a “workaholic” an attractive person who works overtime is “dedicated,” or “Committed.”  It’s a subconscious double standard that is actually linked strongly with gender, which leads me to the “Women are Wonderful” effect observed by two smart individuals called Eagly & Mladinic who noticed that society as a whole will assign positive attributes to women more readily then they will to men. Now add on the wealth and status that comes with being royalty? And bloody hell! If somebody made this character in a game I was GMing I’d kick them out for power-gaming their social stats!

The power... THE POWAAAHHH!!
The counter-argument to this was, of course. “But you have no real power.” To clarify; before I get into this, I am defining power as “The ability to force, manipulate, or coerce another to act in accordance with my own agenda.” Which is generally accepted in both politics and academia as being an appropriate definition of the nebulous “power”.

To which I answer, “Pfft!” and possibly “Pah!” or “Fie!” depending on my mood.
I’m a princess, people are willing to die just for a shot at being near me to maybe win my favour. A kind word or a casual glance are the currency in demand from the Bank of Me and I am the only teller! So get out there and slay dragons, or lead wars, or whatever it is you menfolk do. I’ll sit here, being pampered and being attributed worth and value simply by existing, while you go out there and prove your worth and value by managing to live where thousands of others have died.
Of course daddy has the power to make all the important decisions, but do you honestly think I can’t lean on him a little to get my own way? His protective instincts combined with the aforementioned psychological biases will mean he has a hard time saying “no” and if he does? Well, I can always pout and cry and give him the cold shoulder until he can’t live with the passive aggression anymore and gives me what I want. The same goes for when I eventually get married, my husband is now king and stuck with me, I’m pretty much his only source of non-familial love, so he’d better do what I want or I’ll withhold that love from him until he does, sure he can “put me aside” but I’m the damsel in this story, I’ll have no problem spinning it as him being the bad party in all this.

The best part of all this? Zero Responsibility. I pressure hubby or daddy into making a really stupid or unpopular decision, he can’t say “Well my wife/daughter made me do it.” They can take it on the chin while I sit back on my throne and play with my needlework. That’s a massive amount of power with no worry of the responsibilities that come with that power.
Being a princess rocks! No wonder all the little girls want to do it.

The Abuse.

There is the chance I’ll have an abusive daddy/hubby, but society comes to my rescue again. The literal or proverbial White Knights waiting to rescue me, or I can simply kill them and claim “battered wife defence.” I mean, murder can be empowering when it’s in self-defence, right? Of course if I was a modern princess things get even better, as there are entire departments of justice and specially written laws geared specifically towards not only enabling my safety but actively prosecuting the person I point the finger at!

I know a lot of people are probably thinking “No woman would be like Princess Jay though, I mean surely that level of abusing the system (legally, socially and psychologically) would never be used or even monopolised on by a right-thinking person, yes?”

To which I would respond, in my most dryly sarcastic way “Of course not, Women are Wonderful.”

Edit: No amusing links this time, since most people didn't click them anyways. Alas.