Activism: Do black lives (grey)matter?

I’m going to try and keep this as neutral as I can, mostly because:

a)      Most people have already made up their minds on this issue.

b)      I don’t want to be drawn into pointless arguments.

c)       By refusing to pick a side I will piss off BOTH sides and therefore achieve maximum butt-hurt to all people who take themselves too seriously.

So do black lives matter? Duh… yes, of course. But the psychology behind it is thus: It’s not an argument that highlights the value of a black person’s life, it’s an argument that derides the notion that a black life is cheap. So we’re talking about the net worth of an individual now based on the melanin in their skin.

So to expand on the concept of “societal worth” imagine if you will, two black guys: Greg and David.

Greg is born into a middle-class, stable and supportive family, he goes to school, he attends college, he gets a job, pays his taxes and settles down with a family of his own. Greg seeks value in his life through the validation of others, his family, and his peers.

David is born into a lower class broken home, his father is absent because a string of felony charges have landed him in prison, his mother is abusive and makes it clear the only reason she keeps him is the money she will get on welfare for him. David is surrounded by drug culture and petty crime, his school which is underfunded and apathetic about his development as a child, without encouragement to attend he is often absent. David seeks value in his life through the validation of his (remaining) family, and his peers.

Which of these men do you think will be valued more by “society”? As individuals they likely value themselves equally, but hold very different standards about what a man must do to be of worth. So the argument boils down to who has the better standards of what contributes “worth”? David’s life seems very cheap, he is essentially a “criminal waiting to happen” and disposable and replaceable in the eyes of even his family and friends, and while his socioeconomic background is a contributing factor it can’t be said that black and minority individuals in America don’t represent disproportionally in the lower socioeconomic brackets. So we have the uncomfortable truth that being black is associated with a life of poverty and crime. In walk BLM, turning around and shouting to whoever will listen that they no longer want their lives to be worthless in the eyes of society, and the police in particular. They shout that we need to stand with them and recognise that they are no longer willing to be victims of this phenomenon.

The problem is of course, that people like David have very little in the way of a political voice, or even the cognitive ability to approach such a vast and complex problem, and so they talk in the language that is the coin of the realm in the places David grows up, they talk in violence and lawlessness. They draw a line in the sand and declare all on their side “good” and all on the other “bad” any any attack, physical, verbal or social on the “bad” is justified at that point, because after all, your cause is righteous. Just as Dubyah said “If you’re not with us, then you are with the terrorists.” It’s a common pre-conflict mind-set and its violence waiting to happen. The inclusion of the racial element also adds the toxic ingredient that hammers a wider divide between people, as it suggests that commitment to the in-group is based not on ideology, but on racial lines. The often touted “BLM and their white allies” line I see in the paper is a classic example of this.

        So now that we have established my straw men, let me present to you a scenario:

A criminal and a store clerk are in a 7/11 late at night, they share glances every now and then, but otherwise don’t interact. You see, he knows that the other is watching and waiting for an excuse for a conflict, he knows that the other person is hateful and malicious. He honestly feels he could jump at the opportunity to see them brought down a peg.

The question is, as you read that, was “he” the store clerk, or the criminal, and how would you solve the unspoken problem between them? Now replace the store clerk with the BLM activist, and the criminal with a police officer and you see the problem, both in our perceptions of the conflict and the conflict itself.

To borrow from your parents “Violence doesn’t solve anything.” Not technically true, when you’re faced with violence you have two choices, surrender or die. The city-fathers of Hirosuma and Nagasaki chose the former, the Jews of 1940’s Germany had the choice made for them, and they were given the latter. Which leads us to the movements that have not been about “surrender or die” but rather just “die”. The killing fields of Cambodia, the Hutu Ttutsi massacre, and the ongoing wars in the Middle East. The more extreme elements of BLM who demand the system be “torn down” are the shadowy reflections of this (though obviously not as numerous or extreme!), for them there is no “surrender” option and annihilation is the only way forwards.

Approaching this kind of social problem with the current attitude is saying: “Surrender or die” but neither side can make good on the latter half of the threat, and so while lives are taken when people refuse to surrender, I doubt either side would be willing to commit genocide en massé. So is created a terrible self-fuelling conflict machine that latches onto the tribal in-group instincts, and the desire to see justice and fairness we all have in order to push things towards a boiling point for no reason other than to perpetuate the conflict itself. Which in itself isn’t even new; it may interest you to know that this is a common tactic among leaders of fringe political (and terrorist) groups. To them the ends are not important (despite what their rhetoric says), it is only important that the conflict be perpetuated, and if the conflict seems to be resolved, they will find new things to fuel that fire, and more people to pour into that meat grinder for their righteous case.

And if you disagree? Then you’re a: criminal, racist, thug, sexist, privileged, homophobe [delete as appropriate] and you’ll be first against the wall when they hit that boiling point.

Borderline Personality Disorder: Feels are your real enemy!

Standard disclaimer when I write stuff like this, anyone who uses this to claim they can self-diagnose is a moron, and I will find them and beat them with a sack full of doorknobs. The doorknobs will be shaped like fists.

                BPD, like most diagnosis, is fairly new. If Autism is “The Extreme Male Brain” then BPD is the Extreme Female Brain. That’s not to say wither diagnosis is sex-exclusive, they can occur in both, but they do tend to be more prevalent in the sense of Autism-Male, and BPD-Female respectively. The other contentious point about BPD is it’s got a very broad diagnosis spectrum, so broad that there are some psychologists who dispute it exists, content to ascribe peoples wacky behaviour, thoughts, and moodiness to other emotional/metal disorders, or simply chalk it up to that individual just being a unstable bitch.

                Speaking of unstable bitches, I suppose I’d better clarify what BPD actually is: its symptoms are not always all present but as I mentioned before the symptoms are pretty broad so most people with an official diagnosis have a handful of them to greater or lesser degrees the most fundamentally obvious are:

-          Black & White thinking: Almost always in relation to people, they are sinner/saints, heroes/villains. People with BPD have great difficulty maintaining their social circle as they tend to fall out with their friends and loved ones explosively when a true love turns to a bitter hate almost overnight.

-          Emotional Extremes: Difficulty with “middle gear” emotions, jumping strait to extreme emotions without the gradual build-up, and the intensity of those emotions means they linger longer. Nobody will hate you or love you quite like somebody with BPD as the emotion is so intense as to be all consuming and overwhelming. It also makes BPD sufferers easy prey for depression for obvious reasons.

o   Also they don’t necessarily switch rapidly between emotions, that’s bi-polar disorder you’re thinking of.

-          Manipulation: Bit of a grey area as it’s hard to quantify (even by psychology standards) but those with BPD are often control freaks and will not hesitate to emotionally manipulate their social circle, often instigating drama between their acquaintances in order to drive them apart and make them rely more heavily on the individual with BPD. They love being important, you can love them or hate them they thrive on both, but nothing will vex a BPD sufferer more than your casual indifference.

o   The extreme need for control can also be directed inward, leading to self-injury, suicide attempts and eating disorders.

It gets more complicated but this is a dumbass blog what do you want Harvard references and neurochemical analysis? Suffice to say for somebody with BPD life can be tough, and forming lasting friendships, let alone relationships is hard. Life’s a rollercoaster of crippling sorrow, burning passion, seething hatred, hostile paranoia, unrelenting fear, righteous indignation, pure joy, and every other emotion you can think of magnified to dominate every aspect of your life. It’s hard to get on with your job when you’re bombarded with the feeling that your spouse/partner will leave you and the more you think about it the more you’re nagged by a terrible fear coupled with a pure green-eyed jealousy. Of course your brain being the helpful organ it is feels all these emotions and tries to help you by justifying them, creating all sorts of misremembered events and conspiracy theories that seem so plausible and explain away your feelings. This isn’t your brain being mean, this is what brains are designed to do! Process the massive amounts of information we get form our uppity glands, and lizard hindbrains into conscious thoughts for us to dwell on. Even when a BPD-er knows their feelings aren’t real it’s a cold comfort, because everything is only as real as your brain tells you it is, and the feelings are just as strong and the thoughts in your head all-encompassing of your personal reality.

Can it be cured? Well no, not really. It’s treatable with SSRI’s which act as sort of “mood dampeners” in about 60% of people who take them, but when you’re used to crushing at 100mph suddenly being stuck in a 20mph zone can feel like hell, especially if you’re already struggling with depression, though some people welcome the break from such an intense life. Like Autism, it’s a spectrum disorder so some people may have the condition and not know it, or live relatively happy and well-adjusted lives with maybe a little help from their friends who know of their condition and help them through it. It’s hard to say how it will affect people simply because everyone is different and everyone will cope in the way that best suits them. Some people choose not to cope at all and end up being toxic and “dramatic” people that stay at the circle of an every changing social network full of spiteful gossip and thinly veiled hostility. But I am sure we all know perfectly mentally heathy people who dabble in that area!

I guess in the end BPD is still one of the most widely misunderstood diagnosis and will probably remain as such for a very long time simply because Psychology remains a very young science and can be slightly hampered by individuals that have the emotional stability of a rocking-horse in an earthquake insisting that there is nothing wrong with them, and BPD is made up by [Your Ad hominum here] that just want to oppress [Your interest group here] when they are powerful and outspoken.