Saturday, 2 July 2016

Borderline Personality Disorder: Feels are your real enemy!



Standard disclaimer when I write stuff like this, anyone who uses this to claim they can self-diagnose is a moron, and I will find them and beat them with a sack full of doorknobs. The doorknobs will be shaped like fists.

                BPD, like most diagnosis, is fairly new. If Autism is “The Extreme Male Brain” then BPD is the Extreme Female Brain. That’s not to say wither diagnosis is sex-exclusive, they can occur in both, but they do tend to be more prevalent in the sense of Autism-Male, and BPD-Female respectively. The other contentious point about BPD is it’s got a very broad diagnosis spectrum, so broad that there are some psychologists who dispute it exists, content to ascribe peoples wacky behaviour, thoughts, and moodiness to other emotional/metal disorders, or simply chalk it up to that individual just being a unstable bitch.
                Speaking of unstable bitches, I suppose I’d better clarify what BPD actually is: its symptoms are not always all present but as I mentioned before the symptoms are pretty broad so most people with an official diagnosis have a handful of them to greater or lesser degrees the most fundamentally obvious are:
-          Black & White thinking: Almost always in relation to people, they are sinner/saints, heroes/villains. People with BPD have great difficulty maintaining their social circle as they tend to fall out with their friends and loved ones explosively when a true love turns to a bitter hate almost overnight.
-          Emotional Extremes: Difficulty with “middle gear” emotions, jumping strait to extreme emotions without the gradual build-up, and the intensity of those emotions means they linger longer. Nobody will hate you or love you quite like somebody with BPD as the emotion is so intense as to be all consuming and overwhelming. It also makes BPD sufferers easy prey for depression for obvious reasons.
o   Also they don’t necessarily switch rapidly between emotions, that’s bi-polar disorder you’re thinking of.
-          Manipulation: Bit of a grey area as it’s hard to quantify (even by psychology standards) but those with BPD are often control freaks and will not hesitate to emotionally manipulate their social circle, often instigating drama between their acquaintances in order to drive them apart and make them rely more heavily on the individual with BPD. They love being important, you can love them or hate them they thrive on both, but nothing will vex a BPD sufferer more than your casual indifference.
o   The extreme need for control can also be directed inward, leading to self-injury, suicide attempts and eating disorders.

It gets more complicated but this is a dumbass blog what do you want Harvard references and neurochemical analysis? Suffice to say for somebody with BPD life can be tough, and forming lasting friendships, let alone relationships is hard. Life’s a rollercoaster of crippling sorrow, burning passion, seething hatred, hostile paranoia, unrelenting fear, righteous indignation, pure joy, and every other emotion you can think of magnified to dominate every aspect of your life. It’s hard to get on with your job when you’re bombarded with the feeling that your spouse/partner will leave you and the more you think about it the more you’re nagged by a terrible fear coupled with a pure green-eyed jealousy. Of course your brain being the helpful organ it is feels all these emotions and tries to help you by justifying them, creating all sorts of misremembered events and conspiracy theories that seem so plausible and explain away your feelings. This isn’t your brain being mean, this is what brains are designed to do! Process the massive amounts of information we get form our uppity glands, and lizard hindbrains into conscious thoughts for us to dwell on. Even when a BPD-er knows their feelings aren’t real it’s a cold comfort, because everything is only as real as your brain tells you it is, and the feelings are just as strong and the thoughts in your head all-encompassing of your personal reality.

Can it be cured? Well no, not really. It’s treatable with SSRI’s which act as sort of “mood dampeners” in about 60% of people who take them, but when you’re used to crushing at 100mph suddenly being stuck in a 20mph zone can feel like hell, especially if you’re already struggling with depression, though some people welcome the break from such an intense life. Like Autism, it’s a spectrum disorder so some people may have the condition and not know it, or live relatively happy and well-adjusted lives with maybe a little help from their friends who know of their condition and help them through it. It’s hard to say how it will affect people simply because everyone is different and everyone will cope in the way that best suits them. Some people choose not to cope at all and end up being toxic and “dramatic” people that stay at the circle of an every changing social network full of spiteful gossip and thinly veiled hostility. But I am sure we all know perfectly mentally heathy people who dabble in that area!

I guess in the end BPD is still one of the most widely misunderstood diagnosis and will probably remain as such for a very long time simply because Psychology remains a very young science and can be slightly hampered by individuals that have the emotional stability of a rocking-horse in an earthquake insisting that there is nothing wrong with them, and BPD is made up by [Your Ad hominum here] that just want to oppress [Your interest group here] when they are powerful and outspoken.

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