My Invisible Gamer Benefits!

Brace yourself, this will be a long one:

Rather than give my personal opinion on this I’ll try and be as objective as I can, like a good little psychologist.

25 Invisible Benefits of Gaming While Male

1.        I can choose to remain completely oblivious, or indifferent to the harassment that many women face in gaming spaces.

I don’t see how this is unique to white males, surely everyone can experience empathy? Or is it suggesting that ignorance is a conscious choice unique to those of a Y chromosome and lack of melanin in their skin.

2.       I am never told that video games or the surrounding culture is not intended for me because I am male.

I’m sure this happens, but this has less to do with gaming and more to do with the human tribalism behaviour. For example men have a hard time being feminists a lot of the time, some women even claim that men cannot be feminists’, only allies. Does this mean feminism itself is bad and toxic? Or does it just mean that some people are exclusionary douches. Furthermore there is an entire My Little Pony fandom that are constantly told they aren’t allowed to like a kids TV program because it’s just for girls. This is not a behaviour restricted to the white penis.

3.       I can publicly post my username, gamertag or contact information online without having to fear being stalked or sexually harassed because of my gender.

Nobody should post their personal details online casually! OMG! Everyone regardless of penis, personality, or “privilege” should casually give away personal details to a planet of complete strangers, are you for real?!

4.       I will never be asked to "prove my gaming cred" simply because of my gender.

How did they find out your gender? Most games have you represented by an avatar. The only way anyone would know about the contents of your trousers is if you made a big deal out of it, and if you think that informing everyone of your primary sexual characteristics is more important than the game you are playing, then be ready to have your priorities and “cred” questioned.

5.       If I enthusiastically express my fondness for video games no one will automatically assume I’m faking my interest just to "get attention" from other gamers.

“If I express my fondness for Feminism nobody will assume I am doing it to get into the pants of a predominantly female group.” Back to tribalism again, there are people who will fake their passion for a subject in order to get attention, and their sins paint others with the same brush. Yeah it sucks, but gaming has an in-built way of protecting you from this stigma, since 99% of it is meritocracy and skill, not identity.

6.       I can look at practically any gaming review site, show, blog or magazine and see the voices of people of my own gender widely represented.

This is coming from the channel of somebody who made 150K simply by offering to represent their gender in gaming, despite openly admitting she is not a gamer. People on the internet and in gaming care more about the content of the message then the person delivering it, it’s a side effect of enjoying a medium where you deal with text on a screen and avatars. If you try to enforce your message by relying of factors like race/gender/sexuality then you’re inviting those aspects of yourself to be scrutinised alongside your argument. It would be like me ending this post with “Amirite guys?!” and expecting white-male solidarity to back me, and then bitching and complaining about being criticised for this blatant attempt to rally an in-group response.

7.       When I go to a gaming event or convention, I can be relatively certain that I won’t be harassed, groped, propositioned or catcalled by total strangers.

I wouldn’t say “certain”, it depends on what I go dressed like. I’m pretty sure if I get my “Raiden” of MGS2 cosplay on, I’ll get a lot of that (Especially if I’m cosplaying as the part where he’s naked!).

8.       I will never be asked or expected to speak for all other gamers who share my gender.

Yet is that not what you are doing now? Speaking on behalf of an entire demographic. And also inviting that demographic to respond to this as I am doing now. So in essence your point has defeated itself.

Minorities in any space, regardless of skin colour or sex become ambassadors for the group they represent. Because you are the only example the majority has ever seen, so they rely on you to form a prototype of the people you are representing, it’s part of our cognitive process and how we learn about others.

9.       I can be sure that my gaming performance (good or bad) won’t be attributed to or reflect on my gender as a whole.

Continued from above: This is the effect of being a minority in a predominantly [ethnic/gender] field. And it happens in all lines of work, and all hobbies, and it sucks. The only way around it is to not make a big deal out of it, eventually people will get used to your presence and it will no longer be a factor. It’s like a zit, the more you pick at it, the worse it gets.

10.   My gaming ability, attitude, feelings or capability will never be called into question based on unrelated natural biological functions.

Is this a period reference? If it is, then fuck-yeah is it related! That shit HURTS! It would be like trying to concentrate while you have a spikey bowling ball made of salt lodged up your rectum!

11.   I can be relatively sure my thoughts about video games won’t be dismissed or attacked based solely on my tone of voice, even if I speak in an aggressive, obnoxious, crude or flippant manner.

Ooooohhh yes they will! Shit-talking on games, especially games like Call of Duty that have a predominantly 14yr old demographic will have people constantly verbally abusing each other, regardless of the whiteness of their penises.

12.   I can openly say that my favourite games are casual, odd, non-violent, artistic, or cute without fear that my opinions will reinforce a stereotype that "men are not real gamers."

Pretty sure if I told everyone my favourite games were “Barbie Horse Adventure, Cooking Mamma and the Sims” they’d have some things to say about it. This is more to do with the difference between “Pro gamer” and “Casual gamer” which we shan’t get into here, and nothing to do with gender or race.

13.   When purchasing most major video games in a store, chances are I will not be asked if (or assumed to be) buying it for a wife, daughter or girlfriend.

And when I buy hygiene products at the Body Shop or Lush I’m often asked if this is for my mother or girlfriend. They are simply playing the odds, when you serve a demographic your sales will be angled towards them. This is starting to sound like you’re scraping the barrel a bit.

14.   The vast majority of game studios, past and present, have been led and populated primarily by people of my own gender and as such most of their products have been specifically designed to cater to my demographic.

This denies that men are capable of empathy and reflection on what others would find interesting. Regardless; allow me to expand a little on this. Developing a AAA game now costs more than a blockbuster movie by a factor of billions. To the extent that games that are single-player and don’t rely on micropayments actually causes gaming companies to declare bankruptcy because they simply cannot sell enough copies to make their money back despite the success of their games (See THQ). You’re asking that companies expend billions of dollars to try and break into a niche market and then likely go bankrupt as a result simply in the name your own ideology. If you want girls in gaming, go study computer programming instead of Media Studies.

15.   I can walk into any gaming store and see images of my gender widely represented as powerful heroes, villains and non-playable characters alike.

Yup you sure can!

16.   I will almost always have the option to play a character of my gender, as most protagonists or heroes will be male by default.

See above.
Also, gamers as a rule don't care who represents them on the screen.They care more about gameplay and the experience the game gives them. Also this argument is like me walking into a supermarket and saying that Sainsbuy's are racist and sexist because they don't dedicate half their store to food I like. If your identity is SO important to you that you NEED to have a matching racial/sexual demographic to play as then you can find a game where it works for you, and if you were into gaming, you'd know this.
Also for the record? the last game i really enjoyed playing i was a mixed-race 13yr old girl, it did not harm my immersion or my enjoyment of the game, if anything it added to it.

17.   I do not have to carefully navigate my engagement with online communities or gaming spaces in order to avoid or mitigate the possibility of being harassed because of my gender.

Everyone has to be careful to avoid harassment online, it’s fairly straightforward to do, don’t post your personal information, communicate only through text and generally don’t be an ass so that people have no reason to take offense to you. It’s common sense internet protocol for everyone, why should your gender make you an exception?

18.   I probably never think about hiding my real-life gender online through my gamer-name, my avatar choice, or by muting voice-chat, out of fear of harassment resulting from my being male.

Not out of fear for being male, but I do it because it’s common sense. The only people who care about your personal identity in gaming are the sort of people that shouldn’t find out! Also you’re re-hashing stuff we have gone over, are you just padding this list now?

19.   When I enter an online game, I can be relatively sure I won’t be attacked or harassed when and if my real-life gender is made public

Yup you are.

20.   If I am trash-talked or verbally berated while playing online, it will not be because I am male nor will my gender be invoked as an insult.

Likely not, but as covered in a previous post the point of verbal abuse is to cause emotional harm, using personal information is part of that. Block buttons exist for this reason. If I went to a support group for abused men and was told I was not welcome because I was a probable rapist by somebody trying to hurt me, then me being a male would be very relevant to this insult. But in the context of gaming it is worthless as a tool to cause emotional harm.

21.   While playing online with people I don’t know I won’t be interrogated about the size and shape of my real-life body parts, nor will I be pressured to share intimate details about my sex life for the pleasure of other players.

What kind of games are you playing? Seriously?! Just leave the lobby and re-join a different server. Also: Again, how did they find out you were female exactly?

22.   Complete strangers generally do not send me unsolicited images of their genitalia or demand to see me naked on the basis of being a male gamer.

That’s because dicks aren’t that great to look at. Sad but true. Also you’re kind of stretching again, this is the above point, but re-worded.

23.   In multiplayer games I can be pretty sure that conversations between other players will not focus on speculation about my "attractiveness" or "sexual availability" in real-life.

How did they find out your gender?! Seriously the only reason they would know is if you wanted them to know, and in that case congrats! You got the attention you were after, you made being a girl a big deal.

24.   If I choose to point out sexism in gaming, my observations will not be seen as self-serving, and will therefore be perceived as more credible and worthy of respect than those of my female counterparts, even if they are saying the exact same thing.

And the most respected and vocal proponents for Men’s Rights are female. This is a normal thing. We percive those fighting for an idiology that does not benifit them as more genuine because they have no apparent vested interest in their agenda (though the truth of that statement is argable, it's not relivent for this post.).
Furthermore if the bank accounts of prominent “Anti-sexism in gaming” vocals is anything to go by, then it IS very self-serving, you turned pointing your finger and shouting “SEXISM” into a lucrative cash cow, congrats.

25.   Because it was created by a straight white male, this checklist will likely be taken more seriously than if it had been written by virtually any female gamer.

Until you pointed it out I had no idea who wrote this, but the fact that you brought it up highlights the problem you have.
Ideas have no sex, gender, or race. By attributing the value of a message to the person saying it you’ve demonstrated just how important sex, race and gender are to you. Ultimately exposing yourself as the biggest racist and sexist in the room, because you place more importance in skin colour and genitals then you do with the content of a message, or indeed; the skills, attitude and community-spirit of a gamer.

Tales from the Fruit Basket

A quick disclaimer before I write this: The instances talked about by me are representative of a variety of people, who’s rights, privacy, and lives are their own. As such while the conditions and incidents will be real, the individuals themselves will be vague characters rather then specific individuals.

When in a confrontational frame of mind, I’m often accused of women-hating for my frequent anti-feminist statements. My usual response of “It’s okay to dislike an ideology, because feminism doesn’t speak for all women (it just wishes it did).” May not always be appropriate. So I occasionally just make some anomalous statement about despising everyone equally, including myself, no special favours here!

This attitude was sadly galvanised by working in psychology and mental health, take for example the case of the delightful Cauliflower:

Cauliflower has serious psychological problems, depression, self-injury, and learning disabilities. He also suffers from body dysphoria, believing he is so flawed as to be unlovable. Mr Cauliflower has good days and bad days, but his worst days are invariably when he has visited his mother and/or sister. Who financially exploit the small money he gets from the government, and when they feel he is doing too well, tell him no woman would ever want him because his penis is too small. You see, he’s not easy to manipulate when he is independent, so it’s in their interests to crush his self-esteem. Mr Cauliflower believes their comments about his penis because they’ve sexually taken advantage of him in the past under the guise of “love”, but of course will never be prosecuted for it because Mr Cauliflower loves them (despite their abuse) and so would never testify against them in court. Even if he did, it is a he-said she-said argument, that would cause even more stress for somebody who has been known to suffer from suicidal depression.

Mr Cauliflower has his hobbies, he works (such as he can) three days out the week in simple jobs that pay very poorly, he’s frequently absent from them. He’s very conversational and loves talking just for talking sake, and will happily spend hours just discussing different things that interest him. Every day is a struggle for him to stay motivated, and to take control of his life, but the sad thing is when it starts to happen, he is soon dragged down again by the people who exploit him, and they will always continue to get away with it.

Now take for example young Mr Eggplant. Mr Eggplant is still very young, and was taken out of his mother’s care in his mid-teens after spending an entire childhood as a victim of Munchausen’s by proxy with a rather sick twist. His mother told him that the only way to get better was to comply with her sexual demands. The reason he spent so much time being abused is we’re often taught that a sexual deviant wears a male face, and women simply don’t do that kind of thing. Young Mr Eggplant now struggles with ADHD and mild Autism, it’s doubtful he’ll ever really understand emotional stability most people do, and even more unlikely that he’ll ever have any kind of normal relationships. He is for all intents and purposes “Ruined.” He often attacks the people who try to help him out of frustration and inability to control his volatile feelings. He often cries whenever people talk about mothers.

So why talk about these people?

Well for a start, I carry these stories around with me, and it’s nice to put them down on paper for my own piece of mind. Often people turn blind eyes to stories that don’t fit their narrative, or that contain things that are so distasteful we don’t want to believe they exist.
The reason I make very disparaging remarks about certain aspects of feminism because it makes money casting women as the perpetual victims and men as the perpetual criminals/abusers/monster. When in reality, such behaviour is not gendered at all. Human minds are just as sick or brilliant regardless of the chromosomes that made them, and the first rule of a good psychologist is to make every effort you can to see past “everyone knows” or “That’s not right” or “I’m sure I heard” and stick to the facts that you see, doing everything you can to eliminate your own bias and prejudice. Any study that starts with a narrative or ideology and sets out to prove it, isn’t a science, it’s a religion.
When I see people actively re-enforce prejudice, and make money from doing so while claiming to be the victims. It fills me with sorrow and pity for people like Mr Califlour and Young Mr Eggplant, because I know more people right now are being turned into them, and nobody is looking, because nobody wants to see. And the self-titled “Champions of Equality” are making sure eyes are fixed elsewhere.

Questions for men.

Again I lack the updates, but I have a job (but no life, hence I do update you lucky, lucky people) that is very draining and so often spend my “rest days” actually resting. But! It has given me an idea of a post later, stay tuned for “Tales from the Fruit Basket” a look at people with severe mental/emotional disorders that aren’t from a time-life movie or some political agenda.

Regardless! Twitter has had a hashtag for a while #Questionsformen, and as much as I hate people prefixing their statements with “As a man/woman/mother/father/gay/straight/hedgehog/hamburger,” because it somehow implies that by virtue of existing they are somehow an ambassador for an entire demographic, I figure I’ll answer as this man, I.e. Me!

Questions have been selected randomly:

When you have a disagreement with somebody, is it common to say that you are only angry because nobody will fuck you?

Yes? But it depends if they think that insult will have any emotional impact, people insult to cause emotional damage. So calling me a “fag” will have little effect, but it may have a serious effect on somebody less sexually secure. Likewise if somebody feels I am insecure that I’ll never be loved somebody may resort to the “loser, virgin, neckbeard.” Combo. Shitty insults know no gender.

A guy wants “room to breathe” what is your take on that?
It depends on the guy, some people use that as a prelude to a break-up to get you used to the idea of being without him. Other guys may feel like you’re emotionally/physically/mentally controlling and need some distance so they can make their own decisions for a while. Again, this is not a gendered thing, many a female may say the same for just as many reasons as a man would.

Have you ever been scared for your life because you turned down somebody?
Personally? No, not for my life. Though I was worried about my reputation, my property and my livelihood. I once broke up with a girl who was more than capable of attempting to hurt me by lying about me to our friends, my place of work, and the police if she felt inclined very convincingly. And when it’s my word against hers, people are much more likely to take her words, sadly (See previous post regarding “women are wonderful,”.)

Also, as a result of this I was also worried of violence by proxy, after all self-righteous indignation/vengeance is a heady feeling to those who have heard that a terrible man-orgee has hurt the crying damsel.

Does your fashion sense effect the work you do?

Yes. People need to dress for the job they have, regardless of gender, if I turned up to work dressed inappropriately I’d expect a reprimand. Also in my specific line of work, I risk personal injury if I don’t dress appropriately.

When in a leadership position are you ever concerned with being mocked or called a “bitch” for being authoritative.

It’s a concern, yes. A good leader “leads” they don’t “drive”. Pushing people with your authority will build resentment and insults (gendered or not), however setting an example and providing support and guidance builds loyalty and respect. Leadership skills are just that, “skills” you need to learn and practice it and not just assume people will respect you because you hold a higher position than them. Otherwise you run the risk of being perceived as a bully, a tyrant, or even the dreaded “bitch”.

Is it tiring carry that privilege around all day?

Oh wow, you’re so edgy, I wish I could earn your respect and be your friend. I bet you’re so cool and interesting, and have so many comrades who love to hear your “controversial” opinions.

Seriously though: “Privilege” is a fairly nebulous and flimsy concept, and also an inherently sexist and racist one, as it associates traits with biological gender and skin colour.
But assuming I entertain the narrative of privilege, I would answer “yes” simply because society grants you your privilege provided you fulfil societies expectations on what you should be. So provided as a man I present as stoic, capable, competent, and emotionally as well as physically strong, I’ll be granted the approval of society and enjoy my privilege. Likewise if I was female, provided I am emotionally open, dress attractively, show affection to children and endorse “the sisterhood” of female solidarity, I will enjoy the approval of society and the privileges that entails. Such expectations can be tiring, draining and very emotionally dangerous too.
However, as I said, this entire concept denies the individuality of all of us and reduces us to our race/gender/sexuality, something that is a very damaging to our perceptions of others.